Noted anti-spherist Kyrie Irving missed Britain's first Flat Earth Convention over the weekend, so we thought we'd fill him in on the latest flat theories.
The Boston Celtics star, still nursing a knee injury, was watching the NBA playoffs from the sidelines, so you can forgive him for being a no-show.
But, according to IFL Science, more than 200 of his fellow believers did attend the conference at a three-star hotel in Birmingham.
The conventioneers addressed a problem that has challenged flat Earth enthusiasts for years: When you reach the edge of a disc-shaped Earth, what happens?
One long-held theory is that the Arctic is the center of flat Earth with Antarctica, a 150-foot-tall wall of ice forming the rim. Supposedly NASA guards the wall to keep people from climbing it and falling off the edge. Yes, the space agency is protecting Earth edge explorers from themselves.
But the frozen rim wall theory does not account for how someone traveling east from say, New York, could eventually wind up back in the city without changing direction.
At the conference, Flat-Earther Darren Nesbit suggested another explanation, The Age reported.
"We know that continuous east-west travel is a reality," Nesbit said.
Instead of running into a wall or walking off the edge, Nesbit theorized that when you reach the end of the Earth, space-time is distorted.
"One logical possibility for those who are truly free thinkers is that space-time wraps around and we get a Pac-Man effect," he said.
Encountering this phenomenon at the end of the world, a traveler would immediately be whisked — teleported, worm-holed or whatever — to the opposite end of of the map, just as Pac-Man or Pac-Man's ghosts arrive on the right-hand side of the screen as they exit on the left-hand side in the 1980s video game.
Have your doubts? Maybe you're not as free a thinker as you thought you were.
If Flat Earthers weren't swayed by the "Pac-Man effect", they could jump on speaker David Marsh's Assault on the Laws of Planetary Motion bandwagon instead.
Marsh, a manager at the NHS Supply Chain head office in Alfreton, Derbyshire, told about his year-long research of moon movements tracked with a Nikon camera and a mobile phone app in his backyard garden.
"My research destroys Big Bang cosmology," Marsh declared. "It supports the idea that gravity doesn't exist and the only true force in nature is electromagnetism."
The rise in conspiracy theories on social media and growing distrust in government have led to a resurgence in flat Earth interest. Citing Google Trends, The Age noted that online searches in Britain for the phrase "flat Earth" have risen tenfold over the past five years.
In February 2017 podcast, Kyrie Irving repeatedly maintained that Earth was flat:
"Anything that you have a particular question on, 'Okay, is the Earth flat or round?' I think you need to do research on it. It's right in front of our faces. I'm telling you it's right in front of our faces. They lie to us," Irving said.
Former NBA star Shaquille O'Neal also appeared to back Flat Earthers in a podcast last year:
"The Earth is flat. The Earth is flat. Yeah, it is. Yes, it is. Listen, there are three ways to manipulate the mind: what you read, what you see and what you hear. In school, first thing they teach us is, 'Oh, Columbus discovered America,' but when he got there, there were some fair-skinned people with the long hair smoking on the peace pipes. So, what does that tell you? Columbus didn't discover America."
But Shaq later disavowed his comments, saying he was "just joking, idiots."
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